Everyone gets jealous sometimes. One more than the other. One person is jealous of their best friend’s clothes, the other is jealous of the girl her partner is talking to. Jealousy comes in all different sizes. But what exactly does jealousy mean? And what are the causes of this? And above all, what are the consequences?
What exactly is jealousy?
We probably don’t have to explain to you for a long time what jealousy is, because you have definitely experienced it yourself. But to be sure: jealousy is a feeling of longing for the position, possession or attention that someone else has. Jealousy arises because the person wants more of what the other person has. For example, think about your ex-partner: have you ever been jealous of that person? Or maybe you are very jealous of that one colleague with that beautiful, long hair.
Where does this jealousy come from?
Jealousy is all about insecurity. Because why would someone with a lot of self-confidence be afraid of missing out on position, possessions or attention? Returning to the above examples:
Jealousy towards your ex-partner probably stems from insecurity due to a lack of attention. You no longer get the attention that your ex gave you when you were still in a relationship. This attention may now be directed to someone else, but this may cause uncertainty.
This jealousy of the collage probably stems mainly from insecurity about the attention. The attention she does receive because of her beautiful, long hair. And uncertainty about ownership may also play a role. Because why does she get her hair so beautiful, while you are just as busy with it every morning?
What are the consequences then?
As a result, people with jealousy often ignore this insecurity. Instead of dealing with this feeling of insecurity, people teach themselves behavior in order to get their way. They demand attention and ownership and try to take the other person’s position. The chance that this will succeed is often not very high. That is why people in the area, often without realizing it, are persuaded to support him or her in this. Possibly by blackmailing, instructing, manipulating, sabotaging them or becoming emotional.
How do you combat jealous behavior?
Certainly do not participate in the blackmail, instruction, manipulation and sabotage of the other person. Even when this means that you have to disappoint the other person, because you simply do not give what the other person needs. Therefore, prepare yourself for a possible extreme reaction. In addition, it is wise to talk to the other person. Find out where the jealousy comes from today and look for a solution.
