We all know the concept of red flags from relationships and dating. But did you know that there are also red flags that arise in friendships? These are the friendly red flags that you should definitely not ignore.
They only talk about themselves
In a friendship there should be room to talk about your own life. Sometimes you really need to tell your bestie something you’ve been through or vent about something that’s bothering you. All very normal and logical. But what’s not normal is when a friend only talks about themselves and never asks about you. When they talk about their weekend, they don’t ask how your weekend was. The conversation feels more like a monologue than a dialogue. That is not the intention!
The friendship does not feel mutual
If a friend only talks about themselves, the friendship isn’t really mutual. But you can also get this feeling from other things. For example, a friendship is quite one-sided when you are the only one texting the other person or trying to plan things. It is normal that you have to put effort into a friendship, but this should come from both sides. If this does not happen, this is a big red flag.
Maintaining the friendship feels like an obligation
Sometimes you have a gut feeling about a certain friendship and you actually know that something is not right. Maintaining the friendship now feels more like an obligation than something you do voluntarily. If you are friends with someone, it must be because you are genuinely having fun with that person. Sometimes people grow apart and that’s okay. This is not a serious red flag, because sometimes this happens without there being anything really wrong with the friendship. But this is a sign that you may want to consider.
Your friendship feels like a competition
In a friendship you should build each other up, not tear each other down. When you have achieved something, they do not see it as something good. They have an urge to emphasize their own achievements when you are in the spotlight. This is really just an expression of jealousy. Friends should support each other. So when a friend can’t be happy for you when you’ve achieved something, that’s a red flag.
They have no respect for your boundaries
We should all have boundaries. You can, for example, set boundaries when discussing certain sensitive topics or you can indicate what you like and don’t like in contact with your friend. For example, some people like texting 24/7, others don’t. And that’s okay, as long as you’re honest about it. A problem arises when you set your boundaries and your friend completely ignores them. This sends a pretty clear message that they have less respect for you than they should have.
