Are you someone who always does everything for others? Are you always nice and ready for people? That’s great of course. Until you start to forget yourself. In the long run, you can cause damage to yourself with people pleasing, and that is of course not the intention. But how do you stop putting other people’s interests before your own? In this article we will give you a number of tips.
Also read: Ooh, these zodiac signs have a strong sense of people
What is a people pleaser?
A people pleaser is someone who consistently puts the needs and desires of others above their own, often out of a desire to be loved, accepted, or approved of. This behavior can manifest as overly giving in to the wishes of others, avoiding conflict, and having difficulty saying “no,” even at the expense of their own well-being and personal boundaries. People pleasers often have a strong desire to please others, which can lead to stress, exhaustion, and a lack of self-care. Of course, we need to do something about that. But how?
How to stop people pleasing
Stopping being a people pleaser can be a challenging process. This is because it often has a deeper mental background than ‘just’ sacrificing yourself. If you see it as a big problem with yourself, you can of course always talk to a therapist. Do you want to try it yourself first? Then we have listed some general tips for you.
Recognition
First of all, it is important that you acknowledge (and recognize) that you are a people pleaser. If you do not realize this, there is very little you can do about it. It is not bad to be a people pleaser and realize that you do not disappoint anyone if you acknowledge it. The next step is to try to identify in which situations you are often inclined to please someone else. Do you have triggers? Does it happen with certain people? Write down what you see yourself.
Define borders
After recognition, you can try to do something about your people-pleasing behavior. Setting clear boundaries for yourself is very important. Others will probably not even notice that you are setting a boundary, so do it especially for yourself. Learn to say no (and don’t feel guilty about it!). Also think about what you actually do or don’t want to do and communicate this to others. That way they know what they can and cannot ask of you.
Working on self-confidence
People pleasing often has a deeper mental meaning behind it, when you ask yourself why you do this. It is important to realize that you are worth it and are not ‘less’ than anyone else. Not more, but certainly not less. Learn to feel more confident! For example, keep a journal and write down every day what you are grateful for. As long as it relates to yourself. You can also stick affirmations on your mirror. Whatever you want to do to feel better about yourself.
Improve communication skills
Another tip to stop people pleasing is to improve your communication skills. People pleasers often find it difficult to clearly indicate what they need, so they don’t do it. Learn to deal better with your thoughts and how to translate this into clear and good communication.
All in all, it is important to remember that you are valuable regardless of whether others are pleased with you. It is great to choose yourself and put your own happiness and well-being first.
