Xander de Buisonjé: ‘I have been looking for excitement for a long time’

‘You become resilient to everything you experience.’

You won’t find Xander de Buisonjé (turns 52 on July 19) camping this summer with a roll of toilet paper under his arm. He’d rather go away for a really good week than three weeks half-and-half on a bargain. “When I’m free, I want to be able to enjoy comfort.” We know Xander as a positive person, but that hasn’t always been the case. In an interview with Glamial, he tells us how he deals with tension.

Youth

Xander’s parents gave him a nice childhood. His mother was a real housewife, who waited for him every afternoon after school with a cup of tea. His father worked a lot, but on the weekends he was closely involved as Xander’s hockey coach. “On the surface it was all great, because I had sweet parents, lots of friends and fun parties, but I also experienced a lot of really heavy shit. My parents couldn’t do anything about that, they didn’t know that.”

Resilient

“I have sought out tension for a long time, in all sorts of areas. Eventually I noticed that I did that to distract myself from my feelings. I had a lot to figure out, which strangely enough also brought me a lot in the end: search for the gold in every trauma. You become resilient to everything you experience. I will never be completely satisfied with myself, but I do try to be an easier person for myself. That works quite well.”

Life motto

Xander wants to focus on the beautiful things in life. His life motto is therefore all about ‘connection, relaxation and love’. “That you are just nice to each other, do you know what I mean? What you sow, you reap. Not always immediately, but I think it helps in the long run”, he shares. And what is the most beautiful thing in the world for him? “A state of bliss I mainly associate with my family”, he shares.

In our interview it also becomes clear that Sophie is still the greatest love of his life. “We are just two captains on a ship that sails 24/7; sometimes I have a shift, then she does. She sometimes adjusts the course just a little bit, that happens very organically, without us judging each other for it.” He spends a lot of time with his family and they even took in a new puppy! A new housemate is of course a lot of fun, but it can also be a bit hectic.

Relaxed

We are therefore very curious where Xander finds his relaxation. The former Volumia! singer does not economize on vacation. He would rather go all out for one week than three weeks of half-and-half. He also likes to invest in comfort and relaxation. “When I look at my wife and me, I am the big spender, haha. I do not throw it away, but I do think you have to live.”

At home, Xander also has a few good ways to relax. For example, he does breathing exercises and when he stands in front of the mirror, he speaks encouragingly to himself, he reveals. “I think it is important that you can love yourself in a good way. Not in an excessive way, but in the sense that you can feel compassion for yourself.” Being a little kind to yourself? Of course, you can’t put a price tag on that.