As many as 75% of experiences with transgressive behavior end in victim blaming, but what is it and how do you prevent it?
What is victim blaming?
The literal meaning of victim blaming is to blame the victim. People often say things in an accusatory tone without realizing it. Things like ‘But why did you do that?’, ‘If you had done it differently this wouldn’t have happened’ or ‘don’t be so sensitive’ are often said, but what many people don’t understand is that they unconsciously blame the victim. giving the situation. These are often situations such as sexual violence or transgressive behavior.
The consequences
In many cases, victim blaming happens unconsciously, and things are said without thought and without bad intentions. Anyone can be guilty of blaming, for example by making an issue less serious by seeking an explanation as to how something like this could happen. Indirect accusations are therefore quickly made. This is not only the case with friends and family of a victim, but also with confidential agencies and care providers. Social media also plays a major role: these people often do not know the victim, but quickly form an opinion. When these comments are made, the victim may start to question themselves and put the situation into perspective. Many victims are already haunted by their own doubts, and victim blaming can reinforce this feeling. As a result, we maintain a culture in which transgressive behavior is not taken seriously. Moreover, the perpetrator can use all these comments to justify the behavior.
Recognize and prevent
It is important that we know what victim blaming is, and to realize that blaming a victim for the situation is not a good solution. Does anyone want to share experiences with transgressive behavior, and you don’t really know what to say? The first step is to listen carefully. Don’t try to turn the conversation towards yourself by saying whether it has happened to you, what you would have done or what you would have done differently, but instead ask what you can do for that person. By listening carefully you can give good advice, but sometimes just offering a listening ear is more than enough. Offer to get help, and above all, show that you are there for the person and that you take the situation very seriously.
