There’s nothing more annoying than someone canceling last-minute plans. Of course it could happen at some point. Maybe that person has a very good reason. But if it happens over and over again, there is a pattern and that is very annoying for you. But when it comes to a friend, how do you deal with this? Do you accept this or do you say something about it? And what if the behavior doesn’t change?
Friend who cancels last minute
You may have done it yourself. Maybe you have to attend an unexpected birthday, or you just don’t feel like meeting someone for a while. Fair enough to cancel your appointment. But what if someone does this to you. Not once, but again and again. Yup, that’s super annoying. You put energy into something and someone, but you definitely don’t get it back. Sometimes it feels a bit like that friend can do anything and you just have to accept it. How do you deal with this?
Communication is key
First, it is a good idea to raise this problem with the friend to whom this always happens. Maybe this person is completely unaware that they always cancel plans and that it makes you feel bad. If you bring it up and say that you don’t like it, you give that person the opportunity to change things. Then check to see if it still happens after this or if it stops.
Set your boundaries
Have you raised it with your friend, but nothing changes? Does that person always choose themselves and not you? Then it’s really time to set boundaries. Apparently it hurts you that someone treats you this way and you wouldn’t do it to them. And that of course makes perfect sense. But it is now up to you to set your limits. Do you not accept this behavior? Then distance yourself from that person. It is much better to put your energy into people who do want to meet up with you.
See it as a lesson
It may be painful to face, but if someone isn’t making as much of an effort for you as you are for them, it’s time to take some distance. Learn from this and surround yourself with people who give you energy instead of cost you energy. Are they really good friends? Then they realize their ‘mistakes’ and do everything they can to solve them and make you feel good. But if they do not do this, it is better not to make new dates with this person. Think of it as a lesson for your other friendships. Do you notice that someone cancels appointments all the time, takes on a selfish role and chooses themselves instead of you? Then distance yourself from this in time and do not put too much energy into it.
